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EmptyNelson

Relationship Advice.

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EmptyNelson    0

I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 6 months now, we’re both in our junior years of high school and I see her everyday. 

The single-life seems really awesome to me right now, so I am thinking about breaking up with her. I still have feelings for her and love her back I just don’t think a relationship is beneficial to me individually right now. My senior year is coming up soon and I have college after that to worry about as well.

The problem is she is such a damn sweet girl. She is madly in love with me and has talked about spending her life with me and how I’m the love of her life. I would respond saying these exact same things back to her because that’s how I felt at the time. I just know that she will collapse if I break up with her. On a logical level I know I must give my own interest the highest priority, but I am afraid that when I see her collapse I will pity her so much that I start doubting my decision. I fear my emotions will fuck with me and that I will interpret the pity I feel as "real love".

It's just totally against my nature to hurt good people. I want to break up, but I will feel evil by doing so.

There is not really something "wrong" with my girlfriend or with my relationship, it's just not the thing I desire at this stage of my life. On the outside this relationship seems perfect. The breakup would be very sudden to my girlfriend, she thinks everything is fine, which causes me to feel even worse if I do it.

Can someone please help me? I am confused...

Another note, I’ve met her mom, her little sisters, the whole shabang. Her sister are around 5 or 6 and have come to know me. And I will feel guilty just leaving on a whim like that from them as well. 

Also, having to discard all the trinkets, photo albums, rings, and everything else she’s gotten me is heartbreaking for the both of us

edit: excuse the color I fucked something up

Edited by EmptyNelson

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Ahh, I see, well, my advice would be to figure out first what your feeling, maybe she is in love with you, maybe shes not, maybe your in love with her, maybe your not, I don't know either of you so I'm trying my best to go with the information you've given. When you say "The single-life seems really awesome right now", what do you mean? You mean you want to be able to mix(hook up, date maybe?) with other girls? Do you want to have more freedom? If so then she might be suffocating you a little bit. I guess it's normal to feel this way sometimes, but just see how long this feeling continues for you, then make your decision. You seem like a very kind person EmptyNelson, when you said you were in Junior High I was really surprised, the way you present yourself on that post gives off the impression your maturity is well above your age group, which is good to see, lots of people the 16 - 17 year age seem very immature in my experience. My best advice would be to talk to say a mentor, chancellor, close friend, a family member, someone you know well enough that you can trust their advice, because on the internet we don't know you and we can only give advice based off what we read in the post, we only know the small little details, not the whole picture. It's also very good to see that your looking after yourself and thinking what will be best for you in the future.

 

I really hope this helps Nelson, good luck!

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majesty327    206

Why does you getting some distance from her equal breaking up?
You can just have busy lives but moments of special time.
Love isn't being with the other person every second, otherwise work is the equivalent to hardcore porn. 
Love is wanting to be with someone every second.
You don't have to actually break up with her.
I'll say this.
Between working a part time job, and going to college full time, and now between working both a full time job and a part time job, I still have plenty of time for dates.
It's simply a matter of how much you actually care about her.
Would you wake up an hour early to go out for breakfast with her?
Would you sacrifice this small amount of personal time to see her?
It doesn't need to be every week. She doesn't need her tongue on yours every minute.
Just know that adulthood is realizing that you can have a relationship, without being with her every moment.
What's most important is you doing what's right for you. You can break up with her now, but at the moment I'd say you have no direct proof you need to.
College is easier, and less time consuming than highschool. It's more fast paced.
So you'll definitely have time.
I mean fuck, how do you think people in college have time to get gonorrhea? 

Edited by majesty327
adding some stuff

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AnalAvenger    324

Relatable af.

 

I'm trying to figure the same thing out, man. Almost 2 years, but I haven't truthfully felt anything for her since about 8 months. I (as close as an 18yr old can get, anyway) love her but I'm not in love with her. </cliche> Broke up with her but she wanted to "stay friends (w/ benefits)." I tried to smash her sister (only a year younger, not quite as big of a gap as your case obviously), got rejected, got back with her.

 

Honestly, it's been a few weeks, and I already regret giving in to my temporary emotions. If you're like me, your long-term feelings aren't going to change. You're going to come to resent her at no fault of her own. You're going to want to be single more and more as time passes.

 

My plan is to break up with her as soon as this year ends. I'll be going to college, and it'll be easy to just drift apart.

 

I'm projecting like a motherfucker, but I'm posting my situation to hopefully give you some insight from somebody who's been feeling that way for a while. In the end, I think you should do what you decide is right. Is it worth throwing something good away for the chance to get something better?

 

also please fix your formatting holy god my eyes

Edited by AnalAvenger

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