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Pogg

My confidence

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Pogg    1

So every Sunday my dad and stepmom go to church. I don't believe in it but the people there are great people so I go. I've been going for a couple years and there is a group of people who always bring food, 2 girls who are juniors are some of the people this story contains. Before I went today my dad showed me a text where they said had a free pass to six flags and asked if I would like to go with them. Right when I read it my mind thought no, I started thinking about how awkward I would be and I wouldn't know what to say and how to act. Keep in mind I'm a 15 year old guy, and I don't know why I was thinking like this. If a group of my friends from school invited me I'd say yes in a heartbeat and leave but this was different.

 

I've had an instance like this before where I dated a girl back in 2015 and I was insanely awkward and we never did anything or went out anywhere and it just felt weird. I went to her birthday party and she wasn't there so I sat and when she walked in we started texting, yes TEXTING right fucking next to eachother. I dont know know what I'm afraid of, if one of my friends was going to the six flags thing I'd say yes not sure why that'd make a difference but still. When I was 12 or 13 I was dating someone and I wasn't awkward at all I didn't give a shit, I guess because I was younger or something but I never cared what the person thought about my appearance or whatever.

 

The point is, I missed out on an experience that could be good for me, like get out of the fucking house for once. Now, I'm not a kid who sits in his room all day I play soccer on the occasion and go outside but it's mainly just me alone practicing. Is my low confidence due to the fact that I don't socialize with anyone? What do you think? I don't know how to improve.

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Narka    614

So every Sunday my dad and stepmom go to church. I don't believe in it but the people there are great people so I go. I've been going for a couple years and there is a group of people who always bring food, 2 girls who are juniors are some of the people this story contains. Before I went today my dad showed me a text where they said had a free pass to six flags and asked if I would like to go with them. Right when I read it my mind thought no, I started thinking about how awkward I would be and I wouldn't know what to say and how to act. Keep in mind I'm a 15 year old guy, and I don't know why I was thinking like this. If a group of my friends from school invited me I'd say yes in a heartbeat and leave but this was different.

 

I've had an instance like this before where I dated a girl back in 2015 and I was insanely awkward and we never did anything or went out anywhere and it just felt weird. I went to her birthday party and she wasn't there so I sat and when she walked in we started texting, yes TEXTING right fucking next to eachother. I dont know know what I'm afraid of, if one of my friends was going to the six flags thing I'd say yes not sure why that'd make a difference but still. When I was 12 or 13 I was dating someone and I wasn't awkward at all I didn't give a shit, I guess because I was younger or something but I never cared what the person thought about my appearance or whatever.

 

The point is, I missed out on an experience that could be good for me, like get out of the fucking house for once. Now, I'm not a kid who sits in his room all day I play soccer on the occasion and go outside but it's mainly just me alone practicing. Is my low confidence due to the fact that I don't socialize with anyone? What do you think? I don't know how to improve.

 

Not participating in every chance you have at being social is fine. It's actually great; it's the way a lot of people are, you just don't hear about it because they're discretely having their own fun.

 

I didn't do much when I was fifteen. Even when I got my driver's license and had expendable income it took me a while to really go out and do things. I found some people with the same passion I have (music, technology, and combining the two) and my active social circle consists of around ten people that I'm very close to. I spend a lot of my free time alone and if I'm with friends it's usually around five people at the most. I have no problems meeting new people, being in a crowd, etc., but it's not my thing and it sounds like you might be the same way.

Edited by BeeJesus

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PigHunter    301

It's because you don't socialize with anyone and don't talk to girls on a regular basis. I used to have pretty bad social anxiety to the point even talking to a cashier would make me super nervous. It was twice as bad around women. To get over this I made it a point to always go to every social outing I was invited to. It was terrible, but it helped. Once I was able to make small talk with people I didn't know, which was still terrible mind you, I would make it a point to always try to make small talk with random strangers. I made a bunch of friends and my confidence levels boosted quite a bit. Most of my friends were women so that allowed me to get good at talking to the opposite sex. I'm pretty all right at the whole flirting and hooking up thing. I'm pretty good at talking to people I don't know. I still struggle from time to time, like at big parties with unfamiliar crowds. Same thing when I'm put into a situation where I'm hanging out with like 5 people who are friends/family and I don't know any of them. But I'm able to manage and have good coping mechanisms. Just put yourself in uncomfortable situations and push yourself into situations that make you anxious. Socializing is a skill and it's something you can get good at if your practice it, just like any other skill.

 

Also socializing can help your confidence if that's something you're not good at. I spend most of my days in my room doing whatever and not going out, I enjoy going out it's just most of the time I prefer staying in. If all you do is ever stay in and it's hurting your relationships then go out. There's a balance to be had and it's different for everyone.

Edited by PigHunter

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asmcint    279

Boosting your confidence is simple: Fake it, and keep faking it, and some day, without even realizing it, you'll realize there's nothing fake about it anymore.

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Zirix    716

spend money on overpriced clothes until you have no more money

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dejordzta    1688

Honestly can't agree with PigHunter and asmcint more. I always loved Drama/Theatre and music, so I always put myself up for things like that naturally anyway. However, going to an all boys school, girls weren't my strong point, I was never in with the crowd kinda thing, etc, so whilst I enjoyed doing those activities, it gave me a chance to try and be social and get out there and more comfortable with situations similar to the ones I'd faced small scale. I also really have to thank my job as a cashier for this. I'd love to see the comparison of myself from 4 years ago to myself now. My boss keeps mentioning it, but I think it'd be pretty funny to see for myself.

Definitely throw yourself at opportunities, you don't wanna look back and regret it. It's hard, sure, but sooo so worth it. Try to go to things where you don't have a crowd to fall back to. That is, go with a friend or two, but don't go where there's a large group or majority of your friends. Means you have support if you need it, but not relying on it/falling back on it.

 

#latenightdejscrawl

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Narka    614

spend money on overpriced clothes until you have no more money

 

On a related but serious note, do take care of yourself. Make sure you clothes fit well, your hair is well kept, etc. "Look good, feel good" is actually a thing.

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I definitely agree with the "fake it til you make it" advice. It's what helped me. I totally understand the texting somebody when you're right next to them, my first relationship was like that too haha. Go to social outings even if you're nervous. I know that's easier said than done, but the chances are you'll have a great time once you're there. When I'm going out with new people I usually only feel awkward and shy for a little bit. Once everybody engages in conversation it's much easier to join in rather than having to initiate a conversation yourself. Try not to dwell too much on this occasion, you'll be invited to many more things in the future. :)

 

Also continuing from what BeeJesus said, make sure you're eating healthy and exercising regularly as well. You'll feel way better about yourself.

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asmcint    279

Boosting your confidence is simple: Fake it, and keep faking it, and some day, without even realizing it, you'll realize there's nothing fake about it anymore.

 

I'd just like to clarify this a little bit: It's simple to explain, but difficult to put into practice. It requires a fair bit of personal revelation and determination to really get started and force yourself to act differently.

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Maniakdude    100

As others have stated, try to look well, it will help boost your confidence. Also try to get out with a couple of friends and do something simple, such as playing pool in a bar. Try cracking a couple of jokes, it may help a little bit.

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Zirix    716

On a related but serious note, do take care of yourself. Make sure you clothes fit well, your hair is well kept, etc. "Look good, feel good" is actually a thing.

buy supreme

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